When you serve in a leadership capacity, how should you speak to the people who follow you? Should you speak good words or harsh words? The advisers of King Solomon told his son at the beginning of his reign to speak good words,

But he rejected the advice which the elders had given him, and consulted the young men who had grown up with him, who stood before him (1 Kings 12:8).

What would the young men say? I suspect that the older men saw the harsh treatment of Solomon and thought that with a new king, they could advise someone to treat the people well.

However, King Rehoboam did not like what he heard, and turned to the men with whom he had grown up,

And he said to them, “What advice do you give? How should we answer this people who have spoken to me, saying, ‘Lighten the yoke which your father put on us’?” Then the young men who had grown up with him spoke to him, saying, “Thus you should speak to this people who have spoken to you, saying, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but you make it lighter on us’—thus you shall say to them: ‘My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s waist!’ And now, whereas my father put a heavy yoke on you, I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scourges!’” (1 Kings 12:9–11).

That did not work out so well, and the kingdom divided! Many people believe falsely that to get what you want out of people, you have to treat them harshly, but that only leads to endless frustration.